Can two people have a good relationship without having sex?
Not all relationships are romantic and therefore and certainly not all sexual. Many healthy relationships are just among friends or family members and certainly sex is not present in those relationships. But, assuming we’re talking about romantic relationships, of course you can have a healthy and good relationship without having sex. A good relationship is developed and doesn’t have to be sexual. In fact, some would argue that if it’s a dating relationship, it’s actually safer and better to not have sex. Sex in the relationship changes how the two people in that relationship interact with one another. Inside a marriage relationship sex can strengthen the bond between the two partners, helping them solidify their commitment to one another. But in a dating or co-habitating relationship sex can make issues of trust and commitment confusing, not to mention the boding that can occur without the life long commitment. Oftentimes people comment that they actually lose a sense of intimacy when sex is introduced.
What makes a relationship healthy?
A healthy relationship first builds on the similar interests of the two people in the relationship. Friendship is a natural first step of a healthy relationship. Once you get to know that person more and decide that they have qualities that you appreciate you may want to get to know them better and spend more time with them. It’s been said that it takes 1,000 hours to get to really know a person. That’s 250 four hour dates. Communication is obviously important as well as trust and honesty. See our link to healthy relationships for more info.
What’s it mean to be a virgin?
Virgin is defined by Wikipedia as the absence of sexual experience. Virginity is the state of being a virgin (never had sexual intercourse). Of course there is some debate about which sexual activities cause one to lose their sexual virginity. And there is an innocence associated with virginity that is emotional as well. It is our belief any sexual activity (oral, anal, mutual touching of genitals) affects that innocence and therefore compromises ones virginity. We also believe that giving away your virginity is just that, a choice. It can’t be taken from you. So, if someone’s been sexually abuse, but that’s the only sex they’ve ever had, they can still consider themselves a virgin because it wasn’t their choice to have sex.
What is Abstinence?
Abstinence is refraining from all sexual activity.
Sexual activity means sex as well as other actions intended to result in sexual arousal or gratification.
- Sex includes penile-vaginal, anal and oral sex.
- Other actions intended to result in sexual arousal or gratification
- Abstinence is the healthiest behavior for unmarried individuals.
What is Renewed Abstinence?
"Renewed Abstinence" is a return to abstinence following sexual debut. A commitment to secondary virginity is often made with the goal of remaining abstinent until committed to a life-long monogamous relationship, such as marriage. Increasing numbers of teens and young adults are making this decision to reduce their considerable risk for sexually transmitted infections and nonmarital pregnancies. Parents, peers, family physicians, youth directors, teachers and health educators all play important roles in encouraging sexually active youth to turn to abstinence.
What’s up with birth control pills? Do they work or not?
Most birth control pills make it so the female does not ovulate (egg release from ovary) during the month. Birth control pills are increased levels of hormones to prevent the pituitary gland (found in the brain) from telling the female body to ovulate. If there’s no ovulation there’s no potential for pregnancy. The problem is that many pills have to be taken on a strict regiment in order to work properly. And, recent studies have been done to show that the 21/7 pills do allow ovulation and therefore may not be as effective in preventing pregnancy. It’s always good to remember that no birth control pill protects against STD’s or HIV. Always ask your health care professional when dealing with any medication questions.
Are condoms safe or what?
- Condom breakage and slippage is estimated to occur 1-4% of the time.[1-4] This is known as method failure.
- By far the most extensive research on condom effectiveness has been done for HIV. A number of authors have performed meta-analyses (summaries) of other studies. These meta-analyses show that with 100% consistent condom use, condoms reduce the risk of HIV transmission by about 85%.[4] Condom effectiveness against transmission of bacterial diseases like gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis is significantly lower than for HIV.[2] Conclusive evidence is lacking for condom effectiveness against transmission of several other specific STIs, such as HPV and T. vaginalis, which each affect over 5 million people annually.[2] Finally, effectiveness is seriously limited for the many STIs which are transmitted through skin-to-skin contact, since condoms do not cover all the areas of the body which may be the source of transmission.
- The major factor affecting "condom effectiveness" is not method failure, over which the user has no control, but user failure -- the incorrect and inconsistent use of condoms during sexual acts.
References:
(1) Steiner M, Dominik R, et al. Contraceptive Effectiveness of a polyurethane condom and a latex condom: a randomized controlled trial. Obstet Gynecol. 2003;101(3):539-547.
(2) National Institutes of Health. Workshop Summary: Scientific Evidence on Condom Effectiveness for Sexually Transmitted Infection Prevention. Bethesda, MD: National Institutes of Health, US Dept of Health and Human Services; 2001. Available at: http://www.niaid.nih.gov/dmid/stis/condomreport.pdf. Accessed August 26, 2005.
(3) Frezieres RG, Walsh TL, Nelson AL, Clark VA, Coulson AH. Evaluation of the efficacy of a polyurethane condom: results from a randomized, controlled, clinical trial. Fam Plann Perspect. 1999;31(2):81-87.
(4) Macaluso M, Kelaghan J, Artz L, et al. Mechanical failure of the latex condom in a cohort of women at high STI risk. Sex Transm Dis. 1999;26(8):450-458.
Link to stats and facts page – condom effectiveness
